by Allison Lee
One of the many pieces of advice I’ve gathered from those older than me has been: “Never hang out with anyone who is deliberately rude to their parents, friends, or waiters.”
With the pandemic encapsulating the world and our very livelihood, many hospitality industries have taken a hit, among which are hotels and lodgings, food and beverages establishments, and various travel companies. Between wage cuts, closures, and lay-offs, this particular segment of the economy has and is still going through a lot.
When somebody is trudging through harsh times, it is instinctive that most of us extend empathy and a helping hand, and ask: “What can I do to make it better for you?” So, why aren’t we doing the same for those who work in hospitality?
I’d like to zoom in on restaurants, particularly, because we may not all have been a patron at a fancy hotel, but we sure have dined in or ordered takeout from a restaurant. In Malaysia, where we take huge pride in our array of food, restaurants are all over the place, no matter the size or cuisine. However, if there is one commonality among all of them, let it be the encounter of rude, snobby customers who seem to regard waiters as invisible.
I’m lucky enough to have worked a part-time job at a fast-food restaurant as a cashier and a waitress. I think that everyone should work in hospitality or a simple serving job at least once in their youth because it is such a humbling experience. Here, I’ve gotten so much insight as to how we can ease the workload of the wait staff and make dining an enjoyable experience for both parties.
First, we need to acknowledge and accept that paying doesn’t give us a free pass to bully. It does not grant us the privilege to chastise and criticize every tiny inconvenience. In this sense, I’m talking about how many are quick to nitpick details about their food before even trying it. An example would be the restaurant scene from Emily In Paris. It’s ignorant of us to assume we know better than someone whose whole profession gravitates around producing edible and delicious dishes. Once Emily tried her steak—which she had previously assumed was undercooked and had sent it back to the kitchen—she ended up liking it.
Of course, if you dig into your food and find that it is unsatisfactory or if the staff got your order confused, you can contact the waiter to iron things out, but in a non-abusive manner—which brings me to my second point: Remember that waiters are just as human as you are. These are people who are trying to make ends meet and contribute to their families. Paying them for their effort and time does not entitle you to treat them as less than human. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you; if you hate being yelled at or unfairly treated, then refrain from doing the same to somebody else. Simply put, treat your waiters with basic respect.
Once, there was a communication gap between the kitchen staff and me. I wasn’t told that we ran out of a particular ingredient and consequently, one of the popular orders on the menu couldn’t be made. A group of customers who had just placed an order for that item was waiting to be served their lunch. I politely walked up to them to explain our mistake and offered to change their order to something else. Instantly, I was reprimanded for ‘being careless’ and the customers demanded a refund. Still complying, I told them that we would refund the money via card because that is how they paid. The group then got even angrier and insisted that I refund them in cash because they can’t be sure that the card refund would go through. Then, I had to stand there and endure five minutes of lecture from a stranger because ‘it was my job’.
Being obnoxious and rude to someone is always one of two choices, and we are responsible for the choices we make. Even if you were having the most unfortunate day, there is no reason to inflict the same onto someone who is merely trying their best to make your eating experience pleasant. There are many forms of communication and we should know better to be courteous and considerate. I’m afraid that most patrons think they are entitled to service that is above and beyond simply because they can afford it. The flaw in this mindset is that intangible things like respect need to be earned, not bought.
Another observation I’ve made is that we are terrible at cleaning up after ourselves. From a very young age, I was taught to put or throw away my plates, containers, utensils, napkins, etc. according to that restaurant’s preferred method of disposal. This was most commonly carried out in fast food restaurants where disposal bins are always in sight for you to make that few steps and lighten the workload of the staff. So, imagine my surprise when I grew up to learn that not everyone does that.
You might be thinking: I pay the restaurant for their services, which entails cleaning up. So, why should I go the extra mile?
To that, I say: Because it’s the right thing to do.
Fast food restaurants such as McDonald’s and KFC serve you with a tray because it’s easier for you to bring your food to the table and it’s also easier for you to bring everything to the bin and dump it accordingly before exiting the establishment. Even in the situation where there is no bin around, we should still harbor common decency to make sure everything is neatly on the table instead of leaving behind a mess. You’d be shocked by the number of people who would purposely turn a blind eye to tissues that have fallen onto the ground or spills made on the table.
During a busy shift on Merdeka Day, I was rushing all around the place to meet everyone’s needs. Toward the end of the night, as the crowd thinned out and I was organizing the accounts for closing, a customer walked up to the counter, tray in hand with his plates, utensils, and cup neatly placed stacked. He left it on the countertop (we didn’t have a bin in the common area), looked at me, and said: “I know it’s a busy night, so, thank you”. It might have only saved me a few steps to clean up after him, but I cannot tell you how much that meant to me.
The last lesson is to say ‘thank you’. Vocally expressing your gratitude is one of the simplest and most effortless things you can do. Especially in countries like Malaysia where tipping isn’t a common practice, letting servers know that you appreciate their time and effort truly brightens up their day and makes their job worth it. Everybody adores the feeling of being appreciated and saying it out loud helps them know it’s true.
Those are some basic lessons I’ve learned from waitressing. At the end of the day, I think it all boils down to this: Hospitality is not a one-way street. The best experience is delivered and enjoyed when both parties meet each other half-way.