Thirty-One Days of July

by Allison Lee

As the multicultural and multiracial gem tucked away in the Southeast Asian corner, one should have a lot to be proud of being born Malaysian. Ranging from the impeccable hawker history and street food cuisine to annual celebrations that cannot be counted with both hands, there is much to take pride in. 

In the thirty-one days of July, Malaysians’ voices have been roaring loud on social media. Aside from cheering for our athletes who have competed and gave it their all in the Tokyo Olympic Games, social platforms rang with dissent toward the country’s leaders, spreading like wildfire from one platform to another. 

Between the skyrocketing COVID-19 cases in recent months and the disappointing but unsurprising ignorance of our country’s leaders, spirits in Malaysia have flickered like blown-out candles, one after the other in a domino spiral. Families are tightening their belts just to make ends meet, students’ mental health is suffering due to rocky transitions to online classes, and it doesn’t look like we will be returning to normalcy anytime soon. Despite all the prayers and finger-crossings, the truth is simple: The people who are supposed to save us are not coming any time soon.

On the last day of July, I had the honor of sitting down for a fireside chat with Andrea Chow and Marscella Ling, two brilliant young women who are making strides within their community to advocate for social justice issues in Malaysia. What was a ninety-minute conversation felt more like a detailed prying into the cavernous darkness housing the nation’s ailments. We discussed several aspects of the pandemic ranging from topics like the severity of the medical situation in the nation, how lockdown has influenced education, and where we go from here. We began by trading ‘a day in lockdown’ stories. 

Allison: Thank you both for taking time out of your schedule to chat. Let’s start easy; can you walk me through a typical day in lockdown?

Andrea: I just started college, so my life revolves around attending online school. Aside from classes and assignments, I spend the night calling my friends for a few hours since it’s the only time we can interact. We either work on assignments or stream movies together. To be honest, it’s nothing fun or special; in fact, it’s pretty repetitive and boring.

Marscella: I’d say it’s normal—well, it’s not really normal because it’s not a young person’s typical day. I wake up, have classes, play some games, get homework done, then I sleep. If there are other activities such as my volunteer work, then I’ll get done that too. That’s the routine I’ve grown used to, as well as feeling neutral seeing the cases spike each day. It’s something that I’ve come to expect; it’s not exactly being hopeless, it’s just something I’m tired of seeing.

Allison: I think most of us can relate to having the same old boring routine, but the pandemic has affected more than just our daily schedules; how would you say it has impacted you and your family and friends?

Andrea: The pandemic didn’t impact my family that much. I’m grateful that we’re privileged enough to be financially stable amidst the pandemic since my dad’s job allows him to work from home most of the time. My education, as well as my siblings’, has been impacted, [given] the transition to online classes. My mom is a social worker who runs her own organization and charity. Since the pandemic, however, it’s been harder for her to visit clients and give them the help they need. Frankly, it’s quite frightening because every day she’d receive calls asking for assistance or food aid and there’s only so much that she can do due to restrictions. As for my friends, everyone is burnt out. We had our SPM during the pandemic, which is an unprecedented event, but ultimately, we made it through.

Marscella: It’s relatable when [Andrea] says that [her] friends are mentally burnt out. Since getting confirmation that we won’t be going back to school for the rest of the year, [my friends and I have] spent most of our time on Discord. It has become our second home where we would wake each other up, do homework, and play games. My dad is an engineer; he visits the site for a week and then works from home during the other; it’s pretty hard since most of his work requires him to be on site. My mom works half-days now, so she has the extra time to spend with me and my siblings—one of the positive outcomes. As for myself, I will sometimes lose the purpose of waking up. Despite my tiredness after the entire day, I often stay awake thinking about what I’m going to do for the next. Recently, however, my faith has reminded me about the purpose of waking up and I’m trying to fix my schedule.

Allison: I’d say that we are fortunate to not have absorbed a huge impact vis-a-vis the pandemic, but some Malaysians can’t say the same. Given everything—people being laid off jobs, businesses taking a hit, cases ever-growing—what do you think our rakyat needs right now? Because I think they need hope; they need an institution that they can trust in to make things better, and it saddens me to say that they’re not getting that.

Andrea: I agree with you; they need something that they can trust in, they need to believe that the people in power are capable of doing something to help them. Sadly, it’s true that they’re not getting that—we are not getting that. People need a good leader; everyone’s burnout can be attributed to the lack of good leadership. Of course, some of our leaders did put in a lot of effort into combating the pandemic, but for the past few days, watching political instability unfold on the news, it’s kind of like they are prioritizing winning and gaining power instead of the people. Leaders should not be the ones fighting for power; leaders should be the ones taking care of the people following them, and right now, we’re not seeing that. There are very good leaders among our Parliament, they’re just not leading right now and we need those who can eventually guide us toward a better future.

Marscella: We used to always tell each other to have faith in our government and leaders. It’s like when we were in school, we were told to trust our ketua pengawas. [The leaders] hear our voices but think about themselves instead. Good governance is important because [our leaders] hold the most authority in forwarding Malaysia. We are approaching almost two years of lockdown and that is a terrifying fact. People keep coming up with excuses saying Malaysia is not as modern as other countries, but the demographics say otherwise. We actually have the capability to do better than other older, or more established countries.

Allison: My next question was going to be how the government can better help the people, but I think we’ve established that our leaders have tried their best to help, they are trying, and it’s just that the results of those efforts might not be visible to us, they might not be enough. I don’t think this is a question I can ask anymore because we’ve made our demands pretty clear, but some of them just choose to tutup telinga. So, instead, how can our rakyat take care of themselves? Is there anything we can do to keep spirits high in Malaysia?

Marscella: This might sound cliche, but unity is important. Like the earlier protests, we see that more than two thousand youths came together to protest for better governance for Malaysia. In smaller circles, I think friends have to look out for and keep each other sane in this situation. I have a younger sister who is only eight years old. Whenever we’re free, my family would want to go to a nearby pantai for a walk but my sister would insist on staying home and talking to her friends. I realized that after talking to her friends [online], she’d be in a better mood, and honestly, it’s the same for the rest of us.

Andrea: First of all, I wish I had a nearby pantai I can go to because I live in the city. But coming back to the question of KitaJagaKita, like the white flag movement, when you see that there are people in need of food aid or medical assistance, try your best to help if you’re in a position to do so. Most of us are pretty privileged to be in a safe environment, and when we’re in a privileged spot, we can and should use that [position] to help others. If you have the financial capability, maybe buy food for those who can’t afford it; if you don’t, you can still volunteer your time and energy to organizations. Keeping spirits high is important; check in on your friends and family, understand that they are facing the same situation as us, they need our support as much as we need theirs. Even if you come across a stranger online saying they’re burnt out, just text them to show your support and that would be enough. 

Allison: I agree, there’s always some way that we can help depending on what we have: time, effort, finances. Some people might say that they’re already so burnt out that they don’t have the expense to go help others, but we forget that when we help other people, we feel better ourselves. Speaking of burnouts, we’re going to dive into the topic of mental health for a bit. A lot of young people have been anxious and maybe even depressed because of the lockdown. Their education has been paused, they’re not getting the amount of social interaction they are used to, hence the spike in mental illness-related cases in Malaysia. What is your opinion on that? Have you experienced anything similar yourself, or do you know someone who is struggling? 

Andrea: I [felt] burnt out especially during SPM. I am not someone who adapts well to online learning. I was in Form 5 when the pandemic first hit in March and didn’t attend my first term exam because of quarantine. Then we switched to online learning and frankly, not all teachers did online teaching. We deserve quality education before exams and we didn’t get that. As someone who holds myself to high standards, I was stressed when I received unsatisfactory results. When they first said they were going to postpone SPM, I broke down crying in front of the TV. When we did practices, and even after the exam, I was not in a good mental state. Now that the stress of SPM has been removed, I’m feeling better, but you never know if it’ll start again in college. All of my peers are facing the same thing; some of my friends who have depression are still being hit real hard. Even though we’re all burnt out, we’re trying to support and call each other. If someone is absent from the call, we know to check up on them. I just don’t wanna go through that ever again.

Marscella: I can’t imagine how 2020 SPM candidates got through. Some took it happily because of the postponement, some even hoped that the exams would be canceled. I’m in Form 4; I have exams next week and I can’t focus on my revision because of Malaysia’s events in the past few days. I relate to the burning out; there are some days [when] I would tell my volunteer staff mentor: “Please free me up for the whole month, I need to recharge.” I’m an extrovert; I find it hard to not talk to others, but nowadays, when I go out to meet with my church members, I feel tired, probably because of how we got used to meeting people online. Burnout feels very real when you have studies and outside obligations simultaneously; sometimes I wake up and hope I can skip to being 20-years-old, past this phase. 

Allison: I think a lot of students can relate to both of you. Malaysia is fairly new to online learning and teaching, and that has taken a toll on students of all ages. Still on this topic, do you guys think that Malaysia has implemented enough measures to help those who struggle with mental health? If not, what measures would you recommend? 

Andrea: Straightforward answer—No. Mental health is still a sensitive and taboo topic in Malaysia, most likely because of the ‘save face’ culture and other misconceptions. When someone says they are not mentally well, we are quick to label them as ‘crazy’; or within our families, members ask you to keep it down so it doesn’t get to others. If no one is addressing these taboos, how can we improve? We need to tackle the root problem which is misconceptions. Then, the government should implement programs as they did with HIV and AIDS to help the public understand these illnesses. At least talk about rising suicide rates, depression, etc., understand where mental health comes from and how we can help. Secondly, we do not have enough mental health personnel in the country. According to research I did, we only have 0.3 psychiatrists, 0.5 mental health nurses, 0.2 occupational therapists per 100,000 population. That is data from 2001. In 2011, it’s 0.83 psychiatrists, 3.31 nurses, and 0.29 psychologists. I want to become a clinical psychologist and to be honest, we don’t have many opportunities here. The government doesn’t prepare room for us and they should improve on that. A lot of psych graduates end up going for HR, management, anything but psychology. We should at least open a sector for mental health to address the problem and ensure job security in that field.

Marscella: Mental health is definitely taboo. We can’t even bring it up to our parents because they’d say we 自作多情 (translate: ‘overthinking’), and that makes us question our own state more. I love Andrea’s points about how psych students don’t have that many opportunities to become Malaysia’s changemakers—that has to change.

Allison: I have friends who are pursuing psychology but they don’t know what their career paths are. I think they want to make a change but they can’t do that without the government’s help. Anyway, thank you both for sharing on the topic of mental health, I understand it’s not something easy to open up about. Now, let’s shift the focus over to your very beginnings in activism. Marscella, you joined Parliamen Digital last year, can you give us a quick rundown of how that came to be? 

Marscella: I got to know UNDI18 during Form 2 and joined one of their initiatives. [Parliamen Digital] wanted to reach out to more indigenous communities, so I was assigned to translate information packets for them in Iban. As I was translating, I read the information and decided to check out the application form. I liked the questions, so I passionately spent five hours answering three questions in my living room, amid family movie time. I didn’t think I would get in because there were other applicants with possibly better applications; however, the next thing I knew, I was shortlisted. I woke up late one morning to a lot of [congratulatory messages] on WhatsApp. I was shocked; I can’t remember what happened after that. I felt intimidated because everyone [in Parliamen Digital] was vocal about what they stood up for; they were doctors and lawyers and professionals. We had nightly mock parliament sittings and I joined silently because I was scared. A few days before Parliamen Digital, Qyira wanted me to join Tharma in an interview with Astro Awani. Qyira wanted to represent Sarawak and she thought what I had to say would be impactful. While other participants were prepping their policies to present during the sitting, I was trying to prepare for the interview questions. It was tiring, but I had a lot of mentors who guided me along the way. And that’s where my advocacy and activism journey started. 

Allison: And what would you say is the greatest lesson you’ve learned?

Marscella: As young people, you shouldn’t feel too intimidated. Feeling intimidated means you still have a sense of respect for elders, but don’t let it stop you from learning from other people. And trust the young—that is the biggest lesson I’ve learned from Qyira. She trusted me and that is how I got to where I am today.

Allison: That’s some really solid advice for everyone out there. Andrea, you started youths.my in June 2020, which is around the same time we founded GIS! Did the pandemic facilitate the founding of youths.my or was it all a coincidence? 

Andrea: Yeah, we did start off at the same time, so we saw each other grow! It’s a good thing to have these connections and be on the same team. The pandemic absolutely facilitated the founding of youths.my. It started during the peak of the Black Lives Matter movement; [my two friends and I] had a late-night call at 3 AM talking about [the] issue. We are all debaters and public speakers who are into social activism and we thought: “Hey, isn’t it weird that we don’t have Malaysian-centric resources for us to understand social activism?” We noticed that some friends were apathetic toward the movement even though racism prevails in Malaysia as well. At the time, we didn’t see a lot of social activism pages on Instagram, it was the pandemic, which meant we had a lot of time on our hands, so, why not start [the page] now? If not us, then who? We made the account the next day at 10 AM. It was spontaneous and if it [weren’t] for the pandemic, then school, extracurriculars, and exams would’ve swamped us before we made it.

Allison: I believe it’s the little spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment decisions that fast-track our lives and make us who we are today. It’s nice to see each other grow as individuals and organizations that fight for what’s right. Prior to all of that (i.e. PD, youths.my), what prompted you both to take up an initiative in politics? Because just a few years back, youth involvement in politics was pretty much dormant, or at least not widely encouraged and received.

Andrea: I was in public speaking and debate, so I had to dive in and follow up with current social issues. Debate and public speaking prepared me to see the connections between news and how it affects us all. Here’s the thing: Social issues are always related to politics, whether we deny it or not. Everyone in the debating and public speaking communities was open-minded and accepting. There was no censorship, which paved the way for fruitful discussions. There might be disagreements, but we are still encouraged to speak up. That is where I learned that even if there’s a contrast in our beliefs, we still need to be involved and engaged.

Marscella: I was once determined to leave Malaysia after school. My parents themselves are interested in local politics and from their conversations, I’ve always thought that Malaysia is hopeless. Then, in 2019 I joined [an event called] Kids Takeover Parliament with my friends, [which is where I] met Qyira and Tharma. At the camp, everyone was talking about politics and governance and I felt left out. After the camp, I urged myself to read more about political news, which has now become my routine. It has made me aware that politics are more than just about the politicians, rather, it’s about everything in Malaysia. I realized how big of an impact politics can make in Malaysia and paired that with my passion for wanting to impact people’s lives, and here I am.

Allison: It seems like you two started diving into politics early! Why do you think that the majority of the youth population in Malaysia is still discouraged from being involved in politics? 

Andrea: We’re never safe—for [anyone] who is involved with politics—especially the youth. Have you seen the [number] of youth activists that got detained and charged recently? They say we have hak bersuara but it’s very limited; there’s so much we can’t talk about. Youths don’t want to risk their safety, hence they don’t participate. Secondly, being told, “you’re too young.” I don’t think adults understand how discouraging this phrase is. Imagine trying to bring up the courage to say “I want to do something and make a better change for our country,” only to have adults say: “You’re so young, what do you know? You’re not even experienced.” That just throws our confidence in the bin. They think that just because we’re young and inexperienced, that means we’re uneducated. But they are wrong. We have the internet, we have all the information in our hands, we might be more educated than when they were at our age. Just because we’re young doesn’t mean we don’t know what’s happening or that we can’t come up with solutions. The talking of politics is also censored in Malaysia. In school, talking about it risks getting detention, even though we have to learn about it in Sejarah and Moral. I remember when I got my placement in Adun Muda Selangor, I told my teachers (who are in charge of my school’s socmed page) to help promote an AMS event so people can learn how we function and tackle social issues in Selangor. Usually, my teachers are supportive, but they turned me down because it was ‘political’. Schools are supposed to support us and give us these experiences, but they’re banning us from doing so.

Marscella: When I got shortlisted for Parlimen Digital, the first thing [one of my teachers] said was: “We’re not supposed to have political conversations.” I thought to myself: I’m the only one who is joining this and you’re saying I can’t share my experiences. Nevertheless, I’m thankful for some of the more supportive teachers who even tuned in to my sessions and my peers who are inspired by what I’m doing. The same teacher said hateful comments about my opinions on #Lawan, saying I’m inexperienced among other things. I knew this was something I would have to go through, for someone in my position. And sometimes I feel like the journey is hard. Being from Bintulu, we have been under the same governance for the past 60 years. It’s fine, but [Sarawakians] need more opportunities and that is why I keep going. I think politicians are the cause of discouraging youth participation in politics; their actions muddle politics to the point that youths don’t realize much of the important work is done through politics. There is one benefit of the pandemic though, which is that it has allowed young people to spend more time on the internet and [consequently] learn about Malaysian politics—something you can’t do in school.

Allison: Something both of you have mentioned is that activists often face backlash and judgment and criticism. Somebody’s always waiting to say “you’re too young” or “you’re a girl, what do you know?”. This is inevitable when you assume a role in politics and activism. How do you cope with it? How do you prevent it from getting in the way of the bigger picture?

Marscella: Reflection is very important. It’s also crucial to recognize what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Sometimes you might have a rocky start, not to mention the pre-conceptions that getting into the drama of it all can make one famous. But as [long as] you change throughout the journey, you’ll be okay. As long as you have a good purpose, you’ll always have the motivation to keep going.

Andrea: I agree with Marscella; you have to stick to your core beliefs. Compared to others, I don’t receive a lot of backlashes. In some way, we’re already immune to [those messages] because of how many hate comments we get. I grew up challenging social norms; I was an active child who took up a lot of leadership roles traditionally not meant for females to challenge the patriarchy and the sexist society we live in. I’ve heard a lot of hate comments, but I still did it anyway because we need more female leadership in politics, so other young girls would be empowered to do the same. For every hate comment I get, I have ninety-nine supportive ones; that reassures me that I’m on the right track and that there’s just a minority group who can’t understand what I’m doing, and that is fine. I have to keep going, keep facing the backlash because, in the long run, that’s nothing compared to the overarching goals.

Allison: It’s all about the mindset and what we want to focus on. In this case, I believe focusing on the support and the goal of activism is what keeps us going. To conclude this interview, I want to ask a question based on Andrea’s short essay on Instagram, which is what inspired me to write this article and have this interview. She wrote: “When we love our country, we want what’s best for it.” What does an ideal Malaysia look like to you?

Marscella: I’m going to answer specifically about the education system. As a student in the new KSSM syllabus, I feel like teachers are not well-equipped with the new knowledge. I understand they’re trying their best to adapt, but when I ask something critical, they answer in a vague way that doesn’t answer the question. An ideal Malaysia allows students to think critically and has teachers who are well-equipped to handle critical questions. We have good education blueprints, but there’s no proper impact measurement that proves whether or not the blueprint works. That’s [on] the education side. Overall, [an] ideal Malaysia has good governance and leaders who care about their people, who are not using religion as an excuse, especially when it comes to sexual harassment cases. 

Andrea: I agree especially with the point that we need good leaders, not the ones who use religion as excuses. I want a better future, which means every one of us, regardless of race, gender, age, sexuality—gets a chance to strive in this country. The inequality within our country is bad; many don’t have the opportunity to survive, let alone strive in Malaysia. That’s what hurts the most—while I’m here sitting comfortably in my room, with my a/c on, talking to you guys through my laptop, how many people out there don’t have what I have? The second thing is for us to have good governance—leaders [who] can actually lead. Ever since independence, have we really improved to the extent where we can call ourselves a good country where everyone can have a chance at a better life? Judging from how the rakyat is suffering, I don’t think so. I wish to see a Malaysia where those who are in power use their power to empower people, as opposed to gaining more power for themselves.

Allison: Completely agree with both of you, if we want drastic changes to take place in Malaysia, ultimately we just need a government that cares, that prioritizes the people. Because if you don’t have your people behind you, no matter how much more power or money you gain, you will still lose their respect, and then what’s the point of being in that position? 

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Our conversation ended at that point, with all of us having other obligations to tend to. It’s equal parts comforting and startling to see youths like us diving into politics at such early ages. Though a rise in youth involvement in politics may seem like a good thing, we have to remember why it was necessary in the first place. Ask yourself: Had our country effectively and efficiently handled the pandemic by prioritizing the people’s wellbeing instead of the economy or the government’s power, would Malaysia be stuck in the quagmire it is today? 

#KerajaanGagal and #Lawan isn’t a joke. It isn’t a trend. It is the people telling the government that they’ve had enough. They are tired of losing their jobs. They are tired of not being able to secure food for their families. They are tired of putting their education on hold. They are tired of not being able to speak up in fear of prosecution. They are tired of fighting against a system that was never built to fight for them. They are tired of being tired. And they just want the government to listen. 

Make no mistake, the goal isn’t to fight against the government (more than anything, we wish we could work with the government), we are fighting for the future of our country. It’s crucial that our leaders understand a nation submerged in a boiling pot of unemployment, staggering death rates, and medical collapse is not a signal to be more political. It’s a signal to lead and protect, to save and serve. 

So, dear government, 

I don’t know if it is in your best interest to exchange human lives for your monetary and intrinsic gain. What I do know is if you continue to ignore what you preach to the masses, if you continue to minimize the severity of the situation, if you continue to sit on your high horse of funds that could be directed to aid our front liners and unemployed citizens, if you continue to tune out the cries and pleas of the people, soon there might not be a Malaysia to govern. 

Sincerely yours, 
The Rakyat