by Io
TW: discusses suicide, mental illness, substance abuse
“It’s better to burn out than to fade away.” —Neil Young
On April 8, 1994, 27-year-old Kurt Cobain committed suicide. As frontman of the acclaimed rock band Nirvana, his death shook the music world. Cobain’s genius songwriting and progressive views of society cemented him as a voice for a generation of youth who felt like outcasts in society. He wasn’t afraid to criticize religion, toxic masculinity, and mainstream culture, echoing the sentiments and feelings many were unable to express on their own. After his death, Kurt Cobain was viewed by many as the textbook definition of a tortured artist. The trope, which details an artist whose suffering is the source of their talent, seems to show that without suffering, art has no meaning. For Cobain, who lived in a time where mental health was still not openly discussed, it was widely accepted that mental turmoil was somehow intrinsic to his creative genius.
Cobain’s journals were published after his death, and the world suddenly had a front seat to the artist’s deepest and most personal thoughts. The journals detailed struggles with heroin addiction, depression, and suicidal thoughts due to the mounting pressure brought by Nirvana’s rise to stardom. Ever since the divorce of his parents, Cobain dealt with substance abuse and suicidal thoughts well through his adolescence—which he never sought help for. This would later cause him to have a strained relationship with his partner, Courtney Love, and his fellow bandmates. It was no wonder that he found solace in music and art, which helped him vent the loneliness and hatred he had towards the world.
In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Eric Erlandson, a friend of Cobain’s, said “It’s as if writing in his notebooks was a crude form of therapy for him,” and, when asked about Cobain’s journals, stated, “You really have to read his journals if you want to understand Kurt.” The sentiment was echoed by Cobain’s bandmates and friends, with whom Cobain had shared the contents of his journal while he was still alive. But despite the immense amount of information we have on Cobain through his journals and past interviews, how much do we truly know about him? Cobain was so much more than his illness. We hear his passion in the complex melodies he wrote; we see his empathy in the issues and people he fought for. Yes, Cobain’s suffering shaped the lyrics he wrote, but the talent he possessed was innately ingrained in him and could take on any shape he chose to mold it into. However, this also begs the question: had Cobain sought help for his mental illness, would Nirvana have been as successful? Were Nirvana’s success and its impact on a whole generation worth one man’s suffering?
To answer this, we turn to another artist. Since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, mental health has suffered tremendously across the globe. From a lack of social interaction to unstable employment and housing, more people are developing depression and anxiety while in isolation, making discussions surrounding mental health more crucial than ever before. The recent release of Bo Burnham’s Netflix special ‘Inside’ perfectly shows how the pandemic has exacerbated the mental health crisis we’re facing. Shot, directed, and written by Burnham himself in 2020, ‘Inside’ takes the audience on a deeply intimate journey through its creation. While ‘Inside’ is powerful in its presentation and message, it is also deeply personal to the journey Burnham has taken leading up to this point.
In 2015, Burnham quit performing stand-up comedy due to the increasing number of intense panic attacks he was experiencing on stage. He took five years to improve his mental health and made the active decision to return to live performance in January of 2020 when he deemed himself well enough to perform. Although he was unable to fulfill that wish, he spent 2020 creating ‘Inside’ instead.
Compared to Burnham’s previous work, ‘Inside’ makes you feel like you’re watching an artist tear himself apart to find perfection not just in his art but in his purpose. Like Burnham, many of us are guilty of this type of evaluation and often undermine the time and effort we put into our craft, viewing the things we create as ‘never good enough’. Although this stems from the need for self-improvement, ‘Inside’ demonstrates how toxic this mindset can become if it escalates. One scene shows Burnham reacting to a song he wrote in an endless loop as his comments become more aimed towards the faults he finds within himself rather than the music. ‘Inside’ shows Burnham at his most vulnerable as his self-destructive behavior worsens. He ignores his own anguish in order to create art and puts his turmoil in the spotlight so that we may see his suffering and find enjoyment from it. In order to seek external validation, artists endure this type of self-destruction, and for what? Burnham’s mental illness is ugly and painful, holding him back from truly appreciating the things he creates. Is this the reality we want to subject our artists to? We know that Burnham himself does not believe this. He is on his own journey of recovery, and despite the setbacks, continues to work on his mental health. In that sense, ‘Inside’ shows us how we are our own worst enemies and fiercest critics. No matter the amount of praise we get for our work, what’s important at the end of the day is what our art means to us and nobody else. When global mental health is at an all-time low, ‘Inside’ reminds us to be kind to ourselves and enjoy what we do; it tells us to reach out from isolation and to not suffer alone.
The idea that self-destructive behavior is the only way for artistic talent to grow is inherently false and harmful. Continuously attributing greatness to a person’s disturbed state of mind inherently ignores the years of hard work and effort they’ve put into their craft. For some artists, art can be used to facilitate mental healing which cannot be achieved through other means. However, if we see these artists’ works only as products of their suffering, we unknowingly link creativity with mental illness, making it a necessity in the creative process. It wasn’t Cobain’s depression and addiction that made his music great, but the energy, dedication, and passion he put into his songs that allowed his lyrics to resonate with people.
While Burnham’s journey to improve his mental health was not easy, it shows that by taking care of ourselves, the hurdles created by mental illness can be overcome. Time and time again, the romanticization of mental illness has led many people to lose their lives to suicide and addiction. It is not enough to grieve their deaths whilst constantly berating ourselves for our imperfections; only through active discussions of mental illness will effective systems be put in place to support those who need help.
The trope of the tortured artist is, ultimately, just a trope. Artists don’t have to be defined by their mental illness, nor do they need to suffer for their art. It is only by having empathy towards those of us who suffer from mental illness and by supporting each other when times are tough that we can eradicate this disease that plagues the artists of our generation.
“I worship the people who survive.” —John Lennon